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I thought  I started this blog to reach out to others, but perhaps it was to reach in to myself... Minute by minute I try to understand all that is happening, and moment by moment I fail. That is ok, I don't think any of us is meant to fully grasp the path, the steps, but to follow them, and then, when we converge on a new path, we can see in the distance where we have been... all that "hind site is 20/20" stuff is indeed true. I just have a desire to see my NEXT step, the one I'm supposed to choose.....

You kept me warm...

Not wanting to get into the "why" of it, but lets just start with the fact that yesterday, in below freezing temps, I was standing outside, in 5 inches of snow, for 45 minutes. My Friend, you kept me warm. My Friend that lovingly gifted me with a beautiful and warm scarf, you kept me warm. My Friend that was on the phone with me, and checked back on me, you kept me warm. My Friend who is going thru a devistating time in life, thinking of your courage, and remembering your pain helped me focus on the outcome, not the situation, and you kept me warm. My Friend who loves deeply and bears the scars of the past on her heart, yet reaches out to those around her to be such a kind help, thoughts of you kept me warm. My Friend that has chosen to spend his life with me, who did the best he could with things the way they were, and loves me in the middle of all my "weirdness" you kept me warm. MY FRIEND, Jesus, the author and finisher of my Faith, my redeemer, my counselor.... You were right there with me, guiding me, holding my cold hands, keeping me calm... and You kept me warm.

Wasted Beauty - a short essay

       Picture a young, vibrant, beautiful woman. Now, imagine the worst plumber’s rear-end cleavage. Formerly, these two thoughts would not intertwine, but today, it’s quite the norm. Perhaps we as a nation need go back to the thoughts expressed in the Bible for guidance. My favorite one is, “Like a gold ring in a pigs nose is a woman who lacks discretion.” 

A gold ring symbolizes many things; beauty, value, and lasting purity. A pigs nose, on the other hand, makes one thinks of dirt, muck, and all things detestable. Anyone dumb enough to put his precious and valuable gold ring in the nose of a slimy, lazy pig, opens himself up to judgement of sensibility. Common sense would tell us to protect what is valuable, not to throw it away. I believe common sense is not so common anymore.

Every day I see them, women without discretion. They have covered (or uncovered) so much of themselves that there is little left to the imagination. They have bought into something that tells them the only way they have value is if a man desires them. This is the condition of “Americanized” women. Even women from other countries are consumed when they arrive here. Our culture, while devaluing women into objects, succeeds in making them believe that their body is their worth. They lose all discretion and are led around by their desire to be wanted. Men play off of that desire, use them, then throw them away. 

The latest disgusting trend is with the low cut jeans. They might look really cute when worn standing in front of a mirror (so I have been told), but the functionality of these pants is lacking. Do these women know that every time they sit down in a seat, everyone behind them gets an eyeful of underwear  and/or rear cleavage? I don’t know, but I want them to! I want to scream out until each and every one picks up her dignity, straps on a little discretion, and tells men, “If you want to like me for who I am, great, but I will not mold myself into who you want me to be!”

When women left their traditional roles as stay-at-home moms, they said it was to become more, to be who they wanted, to be their best. That never happened to the majority. The majority dropped one stereotype to slip on another. Now, instead cooking and sewing to win the affections of a man, they are baring it all in wet t-shirt contests, and trying to out drink them. Which of these are valuable skills you might need in the future? 

Sarcasm aside, we need to go back to home grown thinking. Be who you are, and if the guys like it, fine. If they don’t like you for who you really are, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with them? A real man is one who appreciates a girl with discretion. Respect yourself. Don’t waste your valuable and precious gift on a pig!

To Touch The Hem...

     If knowing God is like the whole Universe, then those great Christians among us have only seen the total surface of Staten Island, and the rest of us have only sifted a tablespoon of this rich earth. The swelling eagerness that ebbs and flows in and out of our hearts is not enough. We must hunger for Him, we must dig deeper and use cranes instead of spoons.

     The mustard seed, the hem of His garmet, these symbols stand to remind us that just to seek after the smallest part of Him, is to reach into His infinite being... the Trinity and the oneness, the Alpha and Omega, the vast, ney, unfathomable beauty that is Christ.

     As if words were enough... to breathe the minutest vibrations of this overwhelming sense of deep fulfillment of love and longing...... that comes from letting Christ inside your heart, a letting that pours into you at the exact same time it overflows, outpours and enrobes you in the warm embrace of grace.

     This is where I start. Here is where WE begin to write what is already written on my heart. I say “we” because is it God and I who will bring this project to fruition. I am not sure where to start, nor where to go, but I know I have to do this. The long road of my life has been filled with disowning, discouragement, dismay, and disolution. The path has had its ups and downs, its peaks and cliffs, but thru it all, He was there, waiting for me to come running to Him. He never moved, never wavered, never took His eyes off of me. And so I tell this story in hopes that you, too, will take that step, that last step, from the end of yourself, to the beginning of your life in Christ.

     What about MY Biblical roots? What about the process of my life? What signifigance does it hold that will reach out and speak to someone else? How can the words that God gives me join together to for a comforting quilt that will enrobe a hurting heart?